In a world obsessed with curated calm and spotless parenting, the truth is this: kids don’t need a perfect parent. They need a present one.
Letting my children witness me sit quietly with myself—to breathe through a wave of anxiety or even cry—felt unnatural at first. Shouldn’t I be the strong one? The rock? The unshakeable nurturer who handles everything with grace?
But the more I tried to suppress real emotions, the more disconnected we all became.
According to child psychologist Dr. Laura Markham, founder of Aha! Parenting, “Children learn emotional regulation not by being told what to feel—but by watching how adults navigate big feelings.”
So I flipped the script.
I let my kids see me light a candle, close my eyes, and simply sit. Sometimes I invite them to sit beside me. Other times, I explain afterward:
“Mommy needed a moment. I was feeling overwhelmed, so I gave myself space to breathe and feel.”
And yes, there are days when tears fall. Not out of defeat—but out of release.
By witnessing this, my kids are learning:
- Emotions are safe
- Stillness is strength
- Vulnerability is not a threat
This isn’t weakness—it’s a gift. It’s permission to feel, heal, and self-regulate.
In a world full of overstimulation and pressure to “keep it together,” I want my kids to know that peace isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence.
And that even moms can have messy moments. And that’s okay.
