We need to talk about self-care.
Not the Pinterest-perfect kind with face masks and lavender candles (though, hey—no shade if that’s your thing). I’m talking about the gritty kind of self-care. The kind that looks like saying “no” without apologizing. The kind that chooses rest over revenge productivity. The kind that says, “I am not available for chaos today.”
Self-care isn’t soft. It’s strategy. And lately? It’s feeling more like rebellion than routine.
💣 The Problem with “Soft” Self-Care
The mainstream version of self-care has been sugar-coated and sold back to women as a pink luxury box. You’ve seen it:
- “Light a candle and manifest your best life.”
- “Treat yourself to a $90 serum and call it healing.”
- “Take five deep breaths while the world burns.”
It’s not enough. Because for many of us, especially moms, creatives, and caregivers, self-care needs to be less spa day, more survival strategy.
👊 Rebranding Self-Care as a Power Move
Here’s what I’m reclaiming as real self-care:
- Blocking off a weekend with no social plans—and not feeling guilty.
- Letting the phone ring when you just don’t have the capacity.
- Saying “no” without over-explaining or softening the edges.
- Dancing in the kitchen to Beyoncé like no one’s watching (but lowkey hoping someone is).
- Choosing joy when the world expects your burnout.
“Rest is not a luxury. Rest is resistance.”
— Tricia Hersey, founder of The Nap Ministry
When we unplug, rest, or even indulge without “earning” it, we challenge a system that tells us we’re only valuable when we’re producing.
💬 Real Talk: Boundaries Are the New Bath Bombs
Want to feel powerful? Set a boundary.
Not just the big, dramatic ones either. I mean the everyday choices that whisper, “I matter too.”
- Declining a call because you’re in the middle of a hot tea moment.
- Closing the laptop at 5 PM instead of “just one more thing.”
- Ordering takeout instead of cooking… again.
That’s rebellion. That’s grace. That’s self-care with a backbone.
🛠 Try This: 3 “Rebellious” Self-Care Moves to Steal Today
- The Beyoncé Reset
Blast your favorite song while unloading the dishwasher. Full volume. No shame. - The Guilt-Free Cancel
Say no to a plan you don’t have the capacity for—without overexplaining. - The Inbox Exit
Log off. Set the OOO. Let people wait. Watch how the world keeps turning.
🧠 Final Thoughts: Self-Care That Isn’t Performative
Let’s stop making self-care a performance. You don’t owe anyone an aesthetic explanation for choosing yourself.
Whether it’s five minutes of silence or an entire weekend unplugged—do it because it grounds you, not because it looks good online.
Because real self-care isn’t just pampering. It’s power.
It’s the quiet, radical choice to be well in a world that benefits when you’re not.
